I am laying. I can see some medical things around me, an air
condition outlet, and a door just in-front with a mirror image of ICU. What happened?? I am just starving for oxygen. Each time i breath, my
lungs tell its story of excruciating agony. May be pain is the only thing makes
me to realize that i am still alive.
Whenever my brain gets a bit of oxygen, it reminds
me off her. Her words saying -" please don't smoke". Now
its helping me to get my dried eyes wet. Cigars were favoring me
to feel thrilled, because it was my best friend. A friend who made me to
kill the curse of loneliness. Did it weigh more than her love?? Yes..my
experience proves that it did.
Keeping my head over the slightly elevated pillow, i threw my
eyesight to the glass door in-front. I can see my parents, my friends, but
not her. Not the one i wish to see now. I waved my hands to make them feel
that i am okay.But they are not responding. Why?? Do they hate me this much?? I
once again waved my hands and got similar reply. But i did not feel bad about
them after realizing that my hands were not at all obeying my cerebral
commands.
I hate myself when i am breathing out as i am not sure whether i can
catch-hold of air on my next attempt to inhale. But one thing i like is the
helplessness of my tears as it fails to lubricate my exhaustion.
Now i wish to hear my/our favorite song that she used to
sing for me daily. Sometimes more than once a day.Can i hear it once again? Is
there anyone to fix this ear phone for me?? Don't they know that
there will always be an untold story behind everyone's favorite songs?We always hear music when we are happy,and we will unknowingly listen to
its lyrics when we are sad.
She will come,definitely. But she may be slower than my
death knell. My doctors says that i can live ahead if i pass my surgery. Its not
only meant to remove blackish parts of my lungs, but actually purifies my soul.
She may be praying. Will she?? For this in-obedient lover?? Yes.
She will. I am sure that i can move myself through this 48 hours. With her
thousand threads of prayers and love, i think i can defeat my mountains of
addictions.
And i will come to you dear...
Then ,give me a chance to love you again...Please...
